Sunday, May 15, 2005

Obsolete and Blind

Hello there webslingeroos! Its been a few days eh? Well ol Robbo has not done too much in them there days, i recieved word on that one troubling mark and there is nothing that can be done about it. The person who gave me this news was basically the be all and end all of people in authority, so i am done with it. Sad isn't it?
What am i mired in as it pertains to one small little incy wincy bit of academia?

me·di·oc·ri·ty

1) The state or quality of being mediocre.
2) Mediocre ability, achievement, or performance.
3) One that displays mediocre qualities.

It is like being told that an assist is nowhere as meaningful as a goal (Wayne Gretzky would agree when referencing the 1979-80 NHL season)
No matter that one did not have a mark below B (read that webslingers...a B...not a B-) it all hinges on something that to myself is very trivial, it is not fair, but there is little that can be done about it eh? No matter that one has his 4th year seminar class and has gone from just below a 2.00 to just below a 3.00...that was alot of work, a lot of hardships and fighting alot of demons, it was a hard old semester with stuff in the family and to have something to me that was and still is so miniscule and disgusting wipe all of that out? Who is to blame? Me for not confronting old demons and where to turn for help? The prof did all of what he or she could do, there is not the greatest tutorial system set up in this school, to find a tutor means that you are going to be out a good $20 an hour, sure they are making money and using this means to pay their way through university, but was it worth it for me? NO! It was not worth it for me at all. It is as if rejection has taken over everything and anything. I am not one of the Richie Rich kids with daddy's car and everything done for me at the drop of a hat. I am a blue collar student and it is always the hard way...always... it is like that’s the way it is and i don’t know why anything is the way it is. Anyways...that is the end of that chapter for now...my father tells me to go see the Dean of Arts, work my way up the ladder...but i know that it is useless and that will get me nowhere, it is not like back in 1998-99 when my Intro to Political Science paper on capital punishment in Canada up and vanished into thin air when i was the 3rd person to be done the examination (boy i really sucked as a student then...) and passed in my paper, i even remember putting it under the two other papers in hopes that it would vanish...well it literally did vanish, i recieved an F and right away that afternoon i was in the office of my advisor and looking at alternatives...well to make a long story short, we finally convinced them to do a re-write and i recieved the credit...but this is different then losing a paper...this is a case of mediocre ability, achievement, or performance on the part of myself and only myself to blame. I just know that if was a prof (yeah right, just take that old pipe dream and fling it to the outerreaches of HELL!!!!) i would feel bad...yeah i know, professors are supposed to be ice cold killing machines, only they use their pens to kill you in print instead of a sub-machine gun.....actually many like to rip your heart out of your ass and stand there and laugh maniacally while you croak and ask why, then again they have tenure and can do as they please in many instances..right Ward Churchill? Why would i feel bad if it was me as a prof? How could i sleep at night knowing some student without my class which he or she outright flopped would have around a 3.2 or even higher for an average for the school year? I would wonder why i never got through to the student or how come i could not get this person to learn, how come they never took the time to ask a fellow student to please work with this student and help he or she through the course. Am i going back? As of this moment in time, the answer to that very question would have to be a rather astute, NO! Let me hear that again, NO! HELL NO!!! Then again i should wait to cool down a bit eh?

Face it...i suck

Friday The 13th is 25 years old...so when is the next one coming out?

Well today me and my brother boxed up and moved the rest of my stuff out of my basement apartment to my parents basement for the remainder of the summer. He of course made one of his many silly comments when he asked, "Why don't you get rid of these books? Go get a job!" Well Orvile the Redneck... Why doesn't George Foreman just throw away all of his grills? Why doesn't Mario Lemieux just give up after fighting cancer and how many other obsticles in his way? Or how's about Pete Rose giving up trying to get into the Baseball Hall of Fame or John Rocker all of a sudden becoming a nice guy along with Bobby Knight? People just don't quit
Sure i have had a setback, but am i going to out and out quit? Hell No! Why quit when you have come so far? One must learn how to lose before learning how to play... The rest of the weekend? Well i did yard work for the folks and worked in Middleton and in Greenwood for the rest of the time, we are having a staff party sometime in June, love staff parties..prob cause all we do is get sloshed and rip each other the hell apart, but it is usually in good fun. It was funny on saturday as i worked a nine hour shift and had to wonder if people just had nothing else to do, it is like the original "Dawn of the Dead" where the female lead wondered why the zombies were returning to the mall and Peter (the black lead) tells her that it is something that they remember doing when they were alive...the mall is almost zombie like as well...unless i am going to buy some clothes or a Dvd or need a quick Tim Horton's i almost never go there, now other people i know, they spend their entire day at the mall, aimlessly walking around, even when i was at Wasted Kings i never went there too too much, cause it was boring...i was always looking for something more..don't know what it was, but it was something more than a life sentance of spending every waking minute at the local mall walking like a zombie.... i remember a good friend of mine, see him every once in a while, me and him one whole summer went to Legend's Lounge in Coldbrook...it was fun, but guess what? It got BORING!!! Boring becuase it was the same thing week in and week out... oh well what to do eh? Hey today was graduation at Acadia, i had forgotten all about it until the Dunker phoned to tell me all about it! Congrats...but remember it can be a cloudy and most confusing world out there grads, it is like you are the flavor of the moment at the time of graduation, but once your gone from our fine institution, it is like well.......don't let the door hit your ass on the way out! Oh and in six months, unless you have done the smart thing and just continued on with your education, the oh so wonderful student loans peoples will be harassing you and asking you for cash that many of us that are not in the rich people of Canada club do not realistically have.... oh well..to prove people wrong will be most rewarding, once i am not angry with myself anymore that is. Well tomorrow i am handing out more resumes and stuff, going up once again to career resources at the community college and then more yard work as i do not work again until the weekend, oh well webslingers have a good one and maybe things will be better later.

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