Thursday, July 27, 2006

Perhaps I Suppose........

Hey there slingers! Well what is a happening? Well the Stones are officially coming to town, been there, done that got the t-shirt so i do not need to go again. Why Halifax why? All we are doing is copying Moncton from last year, i know i sound like a broken record, like most of the Stones output since Tattoo You in 1981, but c'mon. Hfx needs a CFL team because they need an excuse to build a brand new stadium that can accomodate these big events, the Commons is just not going to cut it, wait till you see the over-turned port-a-potties and the mud and crap that used to be the grounds of the Commons. What else is new? Well i sent off my Passport on Monday morning, man the staff at the post office was in one hell of a crappy ol mood, they asked me for the price on sending away a passport...what the hell?!?!??! You figure they would have a price list, like ummmmmmmmmmmmm...every place i have ever worked! The other night i hung out at my old buddy Blair's place till like 3:00 in the morning, drinking the rest of my Keith's Red's and watching my new WWE World's Greatest Managers DVD (Blair spit Crown Royal everywhere during Jim Cornette's part!) and my immortal Smokey and the Bandit 3 DVD (aka: Smokey is the Bandit: Yes yes..this mess was originally titled "Smokey *is* the Bandit," with 'Gleason, Jackie' playing both the sheriff and the bandit. Test audiences were confused, however, and parts of the film were re-shot with Jerry Reed as the bandit, replacing Gleason.) Blair was bombed off Crown Royal and proclaiming it the worst movie he had ever........ever seen.. but yet there is much one can learn from watching Jerry Reed take the reigns of the Bandit:

1. Sometime between the second and third film Snowman sustained massive brain damage.
2. Snowman has secretly always wanted to be the Bandit. He even has a spare set of "Bandit clothes".
3. Snowman thinks that putting a pink bow on a dog's head automatically makes it a female. (Watch for this in the sad full frame VHS of this flick!)
4. Snowman has his own Trans Am hidden in his barn. (Same 82 Trans Am as Knight Rider!!)
5. Snowman must have robbed another bank, because he is living alone in a nice little shack; with no family around.
6. In car shots, Snowman looks like Jackie Gleason.
7. When stopped at a bar frequented by ill-tempered bikers, it is customary to leave your female companion alone in the car to be more easily ravaged while you get some burgers.
8. Tackleberry's wife has a nice ass. (She was in Police Academy 2: Their First Asssignment)
9. Who needs ramps? The cars jump all by themselves!
10. If you stand too close to an orgy there is a risk of "getting a herpes on you".
11. Cledus sleeps fully dressed. Boots included.
12.Colleen Camp is just one plain hottie! (So why does she do stuff like Game of Death? Screwball Academy? Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol?)
13. Jerry Reed learned how to scrap between 1977 and 1983
14. Jerry Reed can morph into Burt Reynolds when approached by a member of the law

ok...ok...too much on one bad bad bad..but hysterical in its crapyness movie
Well i almost made my brother cry when i bought the latest Stuff magazine! He used to own The Incredible Hulk: Issue # 181 from 1974... what is the big deal Robbo? Well.........it was the first appearance of Wolverine in a comic book and is now presently sitting at a whopping $1,450.00!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!!? He sold it i swear for a big of peanuts when we were posted to Edmonton in like 1980! The issue also shows the Mego action figures of Captain Kirk and Mr Spock and they are worth $130 each! According to the magazine, not many of these survived our childhood with their limbs attached! My copy of Shogun Assassin finally showed up! I remember up at Mount A, we watched it and watched it..memorized the dialogue and watched it again! Now i can watch it in awesome widescreen! My pal Shauna was telling me about her going to CBU (Formally known as UCCB) this year and having to wait in line to register for classes..weird eh? I felt bad when i told her about how Acadia did all that stuff online, Acadia is an awesome place, but man it can spoil its poor students when they take and go to other learning institutions. Like when i had my first tour of Mount Allison and i was taken aback when i saw a computer lab! I was like.......far out! A frickin computer lab! And they were everywhere!!?!?!?!?!?!?! If we had that many at Acadia, they would be viewed as being a waste of space, like the way they probably look at Tower now... oh well, you can't stop progress! The New York Rangers are going to play an exhibition game against the Florida Panthers in Puerto Rico in September...do they even have a rink? Man if the van was working at all today i would head to the Empire Cinema in New Minas to go see Clerks 2...looks funny as ol hell! Anyways that is all for me, i have a lawn to mow!

PS- The Stooges: Search and Destroy!!!

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