Saturday, February 09, 2013

Things I Learned From Watching "Death Wish 3"






1) Dramatic scenes are drowned out with Jimmy Page
2) Rocket Launchers are only good on enemies who are in groups..





3) Doing crimes in private means witnessing public executions
4) A zip gun has the range and accuracy of a hundred or more feet
5) Backgroud checks aren't needed to secure a postal address
6) Getting high before a night of crime always is productive
7) Chicken is good and likeable
8) Stuffed Cabbage smells wonderful
9) A firearm is illegal within city limits
10) It's okay to violate constitutional rights
11) Due Process doesn't exist when it comes to gang members
12) The unidentified shooter was a "good shot"
13) And he was better than anyone in the department
14) Sometimes you can't have both
15) An elephant gun leaves a big mess
16) When constitutional rights are violated, you can sue.
17) Grand Theft Auto is capital offense
18) When someone has a nail go through their foot, they are "hurt man"
19) You can die from a broken arm
20) When faced with a riot, instead of using a gun,bat,or knife, a plunger is a suitable weapon
21) Gang leaders have a Gangs R Us. They can call up another gang and get more "guys" whenever they feel like it.
22) Kersey can get any women after a total of dull conversation for 3 minutes. He can also be 30 years her senior too.

23) Harassing a man and his wife for 5 dollars doesn't always net you 5 dollars
24) They had no business in killing the Giggler. None at all.
25) When falling from a 6 story building one flails their arms behind their body. (obvious dummy)
26)  a lady should never get involved with Kersey because they always end up dead.


27)  If you have an apartment window next to a fire escape, leave it open so people can walk through it. In addition, leave the front door to your apartment open, so not to inconvenience them with having to open it.
28)  Tire Irons show up magically in the most desperate of situations.
29)  A .38 caliber revolver never runs out of ammo.
30)  Eating Ice Cream and swinging your camera around nets you a free kill.


31)  When one lone man stands alone against the local creeps, the local populace will fight back with guns that they could have put to use before but didn't.
32)  You avoid being shot when running down a street with no cover to speak of, while gunning down people on rooftops or fire escapes.
33)  When your Wildy .475 Mangum handgun runs out of ammo and you know you had only two clips and you used both...search your pockets frantically for a 3rd clip.
34)  People at that rathole of an apartment building just continue to lay in bed reading as Kersey, and then a creep, enter bedroom windows and walk through apartments.
35) Bulletproof vests protect you from knives -- who would have guessed?
36)  A wildy .475 Magnum, a 35 Cal. Machine Gun and a Rocket Launcher...one Sniper Rifle - a bullet to the head of fraker from long range under the cloak of darkness. Priceless.


37)  It is humanly possible to ram a guys head through jail cell bars
38)  Gang members can sense when they're leader just bought the bullet. They respond 1/2 a second later by screaming bloody murder.
39)  When shot with a zip gun, windows explode OUTWARDS.
40)  Kersey is a man that doesn't run.




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