Thursday, June 02, 2011
Hey...its that time of year again, a time to reflect and remember. I could beat myself to death thinking why and how come and why did it it happen to be my Dad...if i sat around and did that i would drive myself nuts i think..all i can do is remember the good times..the first thirty five years of my life it was a privilege and an honor to know my Dad..to know Dad was pure joy... not a day went by without a smile, a giggle or a word of encouragement..something that others don't know how to do, they think they have such rotten lives they have to take it out on someone else. Dad could have the crappiest day in the world and come back with a verbal jab, something witty and have the whole room smiling again, instead of those people who come in a room and suck the life totally out of it. Dad could walk in a room and be the center of attention, conversing with everyone in it, or be the quiet one, sipping his coffee and observing everything happening and in his mind taking notes.
When someone your close to or love passes away, we ache..it hurts like hell..but we all must find a way to go on..Dad wouldnt want me sitting around everyday second guessing myself, wondering what to do and over analyzing everything and or everyone..alot has happened to me since Dad's gone..i've gone and seen the world..well at least Japan and S Korea.. i've gone back to school and now i am one credit...one measily credit short of completing my TESOL at Acadia U...well that and my practicum...but i thinks to myself..would Dad really be proud? He seemed to be my biggest fan/supporter all those years when i had the nutty idea at the age of twenty seven of going to university full time...he was the only one who believed...others said oh won't last a year...here comes another Kingstec... Dad was the only one who basically said go for what you want...
Dad if i could bring you back..what would you think? What would you say? I wanna chat to you so bad...i wanna know am i doing the right thing? Is everything going to be ok? If i could have Dad back for an hour...a day...what would he say to me? Would he be happy? Would he shake his head or make one of his famous wisecracks? I guess i will never really know eh? I would love to communicate..find a way...i know i sound nuts and completely off my rocker..but we were so close...i don't know...i feel his presence sometimes..around the house, when i am in familiar places we liked..especially when i am in the dungeon downstairs as he affectionately called it... watching hockey or some old action movie on the telly... i hear his hearty laugh..his peanut gallery comments or how he was the ultimate armchair quarterback..going and on commentating back to the tv during a game or even a show or movie...things that still get a giggle out of me to this day...
I guess now it is time to end this post...just want to say miss you Dad..love you and i miss you always.... hope you are someway..somehow watching over me, the family and somehow perhaps guiding our everyday lives from a distance wherever it is that you shall be..i hold my head high and hope that somehow you are smiling whereever you are
Bye for now Dad :)